Degree in uncomfortable conversations: should it be essential on a resume?

Uncomfortable conversations Last one!

Specialist in awkward conversations. Is it essential training to include in a résumé?

Well, with no doubt.For me, having difficult conversations is one of the biggest invisible challenges nowadays in organizations. The difficult conversations are not just about communication,it's about saying what needs to be said in the right way,obviously, with a psychological safe space. To ensure psychological safety there has to be a space where employees feel able to communicate transparently and honestly without being underestimated,or penalized. And without this type of psychological safety is difficult to have difficult conversations. Why?

When we don't have that psychological safety part,we activate the back part of the brain, the amygdala, which is responsible of the most instinctive part and protection. So, at that moment, we focus on protecting ourselves,which is quite useful if we have a lion in front of us. It's quite useful this act of protection.

What's going on? Nowadays we don't have lions in our daily working life.

We have other lions. We have an agenda full of commitments,very tight deadlines,we have evaluations and when we are in that phase and in that part of the amygdala,we find it hard to perform at our best. So we need to ensure to have a psychological safety space to move towards the prefrontal cortex,which is responsible of activating all the executive functions,What does it really let us do?

Resolve problems, make decisions connect, communicate and it's what is going to allow us to perform and have deep and difficult conversations,although they can be uncomfortable.

That reminds me of a specific moment of my career,in which I had to have a pleasant but awkward conversation.

It was during a period when I decided to change careers, sectors, industry,the way of working, change everything.

I realized that something wasn't right,I didn't feel like my energy levels at their peak,I didn't feel fully fulfilled, and I had the perception that my performance was not at the level I expected either.

And at the beginning my impulse was:"Okay, don't listen to those voices,continue doing your work and ignore it". Until ignoring was no longer an option.

Then, I had the courage to have a conversation with my boss and communicate in a transparent way what was happening.

I had the fortune, at the other side to find a leader capable of asking questions without judging me,capable of helping me to reach my own answers, and with that capacity of taking small initiatives to make me feel better.

It was important to distinguish what was my perception of the context and reality,because when we enter this loop,it becomes more difficult to perceive that difference and take different actions.

I consider that two very important elements happened here:on the one hand, vulnerability,on my part, for raising my hand,ask for help and be transparent,but also, on the other hand, to find a human and empathetic leader,with the capacity to be a coach who helped me resolve the problem.

For me, it's one of the lessons and something I take from this pairing, that psychological safety it's build through the leaders,but also from employees' vulnerability.

And, of course,organizations also have a big role here in helping the leaders to have this uncomfortable conversations, often difficult. I believe that the difficulty doesn't come from from leaders' unwillingness to have these conversations. I think it comes from fear, or concern of damaging the or concern of damaging the working relationship, hurting someone,or damage in any way or a demotivate the other person,so we often end up staying silent or we only give a positive feedback. However,the silence, although well-intentioned,it can have the effect of blocking growth of individuals, teams,and the organization. It's important that the organizations give the tools to the leaders,so that they can have the ability to keep these difficult conversations,so that the employees also have the ability of bringing up difficult topics and can go deeper in the conversations, and evolve and grow within the organization.